Psuedo-Engineering Speak Translated

When a pointy-head boss talks about engineering work, it isn't always clear what they mean.  Here is a translation of some commonly used phrases...and thanks to my friend Marti for getting most of this.
It is in process - so wrapped in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless
We will look into it - never given it any thought to it and hope that eventually you will forget you asked it
A major program - an effort that can’t be completed by one telephone call or meeting
Expedite - to confound confusion with commotion
Channels - the poor person stuck between two expediters
Consultant - any ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home so you have to pay travel and per diem
To give it some thought - to forward the email to lots of people... mostly randomly
To implement a program - hire more people and expand the office
Under consideration - never heard of it... again

Under active consideration - really, we never heard of it... why do you keep asking
A meeting - a mass mulling by people who may, or may not, know anything about the topic
A conference - a place where there are lots of meetings
To negotiate - to seek a meeting where you are assumed to agree to all of our demands.
Re-orientation - getting used to working again
Reliable source - the guy you just met
Informed source - the guy who told the guy you just met
Unimpeachable source - the guy who started the rumor originally
Request a clarification - to ask questions on so many details that the program will be stalled
We are making a survey - we need more time to think of an answer
Forward for review - let’s spread the responsibility for this
See me (or let’s discuss this) - come down to my office, I’m lonesome
Let’s get together on this - I’m assuming you’re as confused as I am
Give us the benefit of your present thinking - we’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already decided to do.
We will advise you in due course - if we figure it out, we’ll let you know
To give someone the picture - a long, confused and inaccurate statement to a newcomer
Point up the issue - to expand one page to fifteen pages
We are aware of it - we had hoped that the fool who started it would have forgotten by this time
Confidential - mostly we want as few people to know of our mistakes as possible
Tailorable - will be shipped to you unfinished for you to put it together (if you can) yourself . . . glue is optional
Interpretation - your warped opinion pitted against your adversary’s good sense
Statistician - someone I've hired to draw a mathematically precise (but inaccurate) line from unwarranted assumptions to foregone conclusions
Expert - a person who avoids all small errors as he sweeps toward the grand fallacy
Research - pretending to do something new and innovative but really just fishing for new business

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